Dear Kent Parker,

You are a crook Kent Parker, and a bloody boring one as well. Do you think you'll ever work out what a self-toucher you are? Leave yourself alone man.
But now you've chickened out, closed up Counterspin before we even got to the second round. Don't be embarrassed Kent for showing yourself up for what was already obvious.
I know you gave other people no chance when you attacked them in subterfuge just to promote the argument you'd already lost. They call that 'king hits' Kent, but the problem with your 'king hits' is that you whacked yourself in the bonk instead.
Don't be too sad, after you've been bankrupted maybe you could write a book. Here's a few prospective titles for you to consider:

How to go from being a messiah to being a moron in 12 months.

I wished I'd stuck with what I'm good at, nothing.

Mike Stockdale and kulkkublle welched on me.

Apart from my stalking and pedo - supporting, I'm a nice guy.

I trusted Annette Curran.

If only my dad had let me play rugby I wouldn't have been so jealous of Joe.

Luckytrader taught me everything I know.

Please, I never meant to do it.

I hated being an orange boy.

Next time I'll listen to my mother.

Melanie White is stalking me.

100 things you need to know before starting a hate-site.

The inside story from the High Court dungeons.

I was dropped on my head as a child.

Rachael Dickyberry Membery is talking to herself on TM.

Jolly good, spot on Ms Dickyberry. Speaking to oneself (that sounds right English) might be preferable to one writing poems to dead donkeys, or more proper indeed (very Englishberry) than suing one's father to get ones hand on the inheritance (loot no less - to be distinguished from root which could also feature in poems to dead donkeys in some obscure way to cover bestiality or other crimes against the natural order of things and suspicion against certain Dickyberry proclivity in breeding half asses in Otorohanga.) But really who is to tell? After all, there are certain reports arising from the provinces about apparent love affairs between woman and beast as part of ritual cleansing for a new world order of Dickleberry half-asses. How noble it might be once the image of a Dickleberry and an ass co-habitating became less shocking for one to then listen to the accompanying chorus of brays and ecstatic moans of pleasure permeating across the farmlands. Eehaw, Rachael.

Dear Nos, by Goodnewsguy.

Dear Nos,
Some of the children are worried about you wanting to cook Mike Stockdale in the olde cannibalistic ways of the past to consume your enemy, and leave his skull in the rafters of the sleeping hut so that you will be able to differentiate between the ghosts that visit at night. They've asked me if you have ever heard of Kentucky Fried Chicken for example, or even a cup of cocoa.

It seems Nos, these days, that putting your enemies in cooking pots and eating them afterwards is not considered to be a fast food option after all. I hope this may cause you time to pause, and reconsider your intention of opening 5 fast food cannibalistic takeaway outlets in the greater Auckland area before xmas and increase the number to 10 instead - just for the xmas rush.

Your old buddy pal,

GNG (Weightwatchers)

I can hear cages rattling.

I can hear cages rattling, false teeth are flying through the atmosphere. The sisters have got knotted, not dog-knotted as I'm sure some would like to be, no. They've got their knickers in a twist because the man they have claimed at length will not speak, has spoken. The man they have waged a hate campaign against has spoken, confirmed a jury's finding, confirmed common sense and logic, confirmed and verified his innocence.

Personally, I think Lindsay Kennard, Mike Stockdale, Ralph, Vic and Neil Purkiss, shouldn't be wearing knickers at there ages anyway. It's unseemly, however inadequate and sexually dysfunctional that they may be, to be wearing knickers on a Sunday when claiming to be on a holy mission. Spare me the thought of Mike Stockdale in crotchless panties, it was bad enough having him selling that photo of himself on the net.

Dear Lindsay Kennard: From Doctor Goodnewsguy.

Dear Lindsay,
There may be an upside to having a mackerel in your bottom after all, and I hope the news might cheer you up from the disappointment you must have felt being told that you hadn't grown a tail as you first hoped.
I have taken the liberty on your behalf of contacting the Guinness World Records organisation and sent them the photos. This afternoon I had a call from one of the research officers of Guinness World Records who has confirmed that it is almost a certainty that you will appear in next year's book for the record of having caught the biggest mackerel to date of anyone who has caught a mackerel in their bottom. Not only that, but you will be specially noted as the only person on record as having caught a mackerel in such a way.
It appears that your bottom is on its way to becoming famous worldwide. Congratulations.


All the Best, you old mackerel, sea hook bum you.

Dr Goodnewsguy.

Dear Lindsay Kennard, from Doctor Goodnewsguy.

Dear Lindsay,
You're lab tests results have just arrived on my desk. Unfortunately, I have to somewhat dampen your aspirations to tour with Stockdale's circus as 'The man with a Tail' because the technicians have confirmed that you haven't grown a tail at all, in fact you've got a live mackerel head first up your bottom, and that's probably why you couldn't co-ordinate your tail flaps with the beat of your music when you were singing 'Only the Lonely' to the receptionist.
Perhaps goofledork might take you into the troupe anyway as a very ugly mermaid. That could be fun.

Yours faithfully


Doctor Goodnewsguy.

Lindsay Kennard - the drunkard.

Dear Lindsay,
I see you've been getting drunk and signing the petition heaps of times, maybe when you can stay off the booze and pills for half day could you explain how that works. I know it doesn't make any difference because the petition is as dead as a washed up mackerel, but I was interested to know how your booze and drug befuddled brain works.

I've noted now that you claim the Crown threw the Prosecution in the Bain case, apparently as you put it to save money. There's a whole lot of people that you are blaming for being wrong, maybe you should get a psychiatrist to shine a torch in one of your cauliflower ears or up one of your hairy nostrils to see what he can make of it. Maybe he might find out that your nose is blocked from snorting pills while still in the capsule and that your skull is full of wax the result of which has been that you excreted your brain out of your butt and that once finding its way to the sea poisoned that poor mackerel.

You, Lindsay Kennard, could be a mackerel poisoner and at this very moment mackerels could be swimming up your sewer to get revenge. But anyway talk to your psychiatrist about it and use a bucket for your ablutions in the meantime just to be on the safe side because mackerels swimming up your bottom could be very uncomfortable. Your psychiatrist will know what you are talking about. Sometimes Linzo binzo I feel it might be true what you say and that it is all been a big conspiracy that people want to prove you are a sad sack loser.

Yours faithfully

Nos.

Dear Annie and Chrissy,

Please don't feel that Nos is making fun of you just because you got caught out tagging your names up for the world to see. Don't feel bad about that gals. May I call you galpals - just for old times sake? Say about 55 years ago in the backseats at the old picture theatre on Queens, you know the one, even then you were funny old galpals the way you dressed and went boys or girls. I bet you never knew you'd eventually be world famous dummy spitters, that did tacks on the side. Well, I suppose your policy of doing extras has paid off.

Congratulations.

Your old pal,

Goodnewsguy.

Cannibalistic, by Goodnewsguy.

Nos is busy measuring up pots again and ordering the tribal workers to gather firewood. But what's the bet he can't get Annie 'you're on candid camera' Curran's fat butt in any of those pots. He's whistling away, and bursting out in spontaneous laughter every few minutes, rolling around on the jungle floor in hysterics while calling 'annie your fat butt is mine.' It's nice to see Nos happy for a change, I might take the opportunity to let him know that not only has GST gone from 10 to 12.5% percent some years ago but now it's up to 15% and it might be an appropriate time to adjust my wages.

It's all good in the jungle.

Yours sincerely,

Goodnewsguy.

Award issues....

Mike said...

Dear Nos,
Thankyou for the Moron of the Week award. I have to admit that I'm somewhat miffed at having to share it. Particularly, for having to share it with lucklesstrader because it obvious to me that he has unfair advantage, not only is he a true moron but he is equally insane to the point that only a very sharp witted person (such as myself) is able to tell the difference.

And yes Vic Perkiss is quite another matter again. He's bloody blabbermouth and I should know being one myself. But I haven't got licks on him, he's like a windup record running off a battery on steroids. As you know I don't really see eye to eye with him and Kent, they're not really my type. Kent with his ego and Perkiss with his constant chatter. I can you tell you the air has turned blue a few times over the defamation charges with each blaming the other.

I'm a pretty fair judge of human character if I do say myself, which I do say so because I'm lonely - hence writing to you even though sometimes I think you hate my guts. But anyway, everybody is ignoring me just like when I worked in the office and had long periods in the ablutions block when the junior would turn up the radio so as not to hear my farting and mumbling to myself. Returning to the point however, I feel that there will be a falling out between those two before too long - I sense it in my urine samples.

Hells teeth, for asking what happened to me. I was just the run of the mill old fart reprobate with a flash car now I'm becoming world famous, but the problem is I'm on the wrong side. I don't want to be famous for being a pedo supporter dumdum and it only happened because I was name dropping and lonely and those morons from Counterspin took me seriously. I was sort of hooked after that. Now I have to go on repeating nonsense day in and day out to an audience of one - myself.

Anyway Nos, it's been nice talking to you. I'll pop in from time to time to see what your latest insults about me have been, actually I find some of them quite cheery in a homely sort of way.

All the best,

Supergoose, aka: supergoof, superdork, superdoofus, superdonk (I wish,) supersmart (I also wish,)

October 5, 2010 12:41 PM

I've offended all the TM moron hangbainers by saying Robin was the one what done it, or did it even.

Oh gosh, how could it have happened? How did I ever know they couldn't get Robin's dna out of the barrel - poor chapette, pedo supporters. Surely, hangbainers, moronic twisted sisters, we can now move on to your appearance in Court. I admit that it won't be as much fun as I first thought. The registrar has denied my application to have a man sized pot boiling away before the Jury, just to get them in the mood to return to the cannibal ways of the old days when everybody could feed off the rotten bones of defamatory, stalking, incalcitrants such as you are.

I'm sorry for being so nice and pleasant, it's just that I'm overcome by hunger and I wish you'd been better fed and refrained from eating grass and cowpats - just so I could have a good feed of pork trotters without worrying about the fat, or bs content. But I realise that I can't always get things my own way and the Judge reminded me of that when he denied my request to boil you up while the jury heard the evidence. He said it was premature ingestion and he should know - the fat bastard.

I wonder what the odds were: by Goodnewsguy.

I gotta say I never thought of it, but you'd bet money on it if you had predicted that nos would go cannibalistic again. If he hasn't got Giant African Snails in your driveway trying to eat your cat it's odds on he's cooking Kent Parker in the back yard. Yum yum.

Hi Nos; by Goodnewsguy.

Thanks for your cheque which finally arrived on a trailer towed by an Giant African Snail. Unfortunately the bank has told me that your signature marked by an X is of the same worthless value as a name on a petition signed, by a half-wit hate-siter, fifteen times in a row.

Please be so kind to forward on by express Giant African Snail Post a fresh cheque bearing XOXOXO because I love you too. I also love mummy and the cat which is currently being eaten by the bloody big snail in the driveway.

Your old pal,

goodygoody gumdrops.

Piggy banks...by Goodnewsguy

from watcher..

Watcher said...
It makes perfect sense that TM would enjoin the errant posters. Hopefully all the moronic folk that are enjoined have enough in their piggy banks to pay.

September 10, 2010 10:13 PM

But aren't they such cute little piggies? I just popped out the back and they're all being good little piggies even though I can't see their piggy banks under their little curly tails.

My own opinion is that cute little piggies should have compulsory piggy banks under their curly tails when a wolf is looking for them, just for convenience's sake and to save on parking tickets and other curly situations.

nina_concertina...

nina_concertina, how does your garden grow?
nina, sweet nina, who was once almost a ballerina,
thank you for your kind observations
about your self pleasuring ways.
spot on, jolly good
keep up the good work.


Yours truely,

your old pal, nostros.

Thankyou for your concern, by Goodnewsguy.

GNG fan said...
Dear GNG
I am concerned about the health risks of your job, and suggest you apply immediately for a special payment, on top of your wage from NOS. Goodness knows what lurks in the dribble of these people and there should be danger money included.

It's a bit worrying that your personal measurements are so well known. The group has taken it upon themselves to redefine existing mathematical standards. According to group leader, Vic, 3mm will now become .003mm. This has serious consequences for all males, who have skited about their 6 inches. From now on 6 inches or 152.4mm, will become .152mm or .006 of an inch. What this will do for the male psyche, is yet to be known, but it's not going to be pretty.

September 8, 2010 9:02 AM

As anticipated Nos turned down my request for a special payment. He said that he didn't want to rush things and that he suspected I was being lead astray by my inflated view of my own value. He reckons spys are a dime a dozen these days and I'll have to make do with cut lunches from now on as well. He's very generous in holding on to his own money, in fact you need a crowbar to lever a 50cent coin out his palm - I think it's glued on.

Yes, I'm well aware of great leader #2 redefining metric measurement. But despite his attempt to scale everything down to the size of his brain .003mm, I am happy to disclose there has been no effect on my personal measurements and in fact I have had 5 more marriage proposals from malpal overnight, claiming that she has found her relationship with great leader #2 most unfulfilling while also noting her relationship with campmother was even worse.

It's official folks..posted by GNG from the Auckland High Court

When goobergolf hits the High Court they're going to search her bags for tacks. No judge in NZ could be asked to preside over a trial in which goobergold was appearing if she was fully armed with tacks and spitting them everywhere - think of the damage to wood paneling and the Judge's wig.

Also, as I understand, and much to her relief, goober will be allowed to take with her the specially decorated 'night' bowl which she is also permitted to share with kalpal and nina_s. Won't that be fun.

I'd like to take this opportunity to send a message to melpal that I have received all those marriage proposals but I can't make out the fine detail because of the dribble and snot over them. And thankyou very much for reminding me again of the measurements of my personal details and what you like to do with them.

Yours truly,

Goodnewsguy

Kulkkubelle - Moronette of the week.

A closely run affair. Looked like it was jeeves50 for most of the week. He was asking projecthr of proof of particular evidence day in and day out like a hungry rabid dog, finally to put him out of his rotten misery, or maybe more to the point - to return him to his status quo of just being plain miserable, projecthr cited the source of the evidence and jeeves50, rotten jeeves50 the persecutor, did a runner back to mummy kent and hasn't been heard of since.

Nina_s. One of the original twisted sisters and having just crawled out of her hole after being off the boards about 5 times this year, and with a sterling record for defamation against Joe Karam that won't go away, was also a strong contestant by virtue of her impeccable moronette record. But the competition was too tough to be won simply on reputation. Try again though nina_concertina - a few sermons will help out.

But we can only have one winner, and I think you'll agree kookybelle wins it hands down. Kookybelle, like all hate-siters and miscreants likes to recycle rubbish, likes to believe she knows more than mere mortals. Why did the Irish expert need someone to help him demonstrate the suicide she chortled like an old crow on steroids. Well, I'll tell you why kookybelle, not that it will make any impression on that barren wasteland that fills your skull. The police made a skull cap, which a 600mm long rod extending from it to show the trajectory of the bullet entering Daddy's head. To prove suicide the trajectory needed to be matched dim one, can you follow. No? Didn't think so. In order to prove the trajectory and hence prove the suicide the defence threaded the rifle directly onto the rod to prove the point, absolutely prove the point. And I know you won't be able to follow this either kookybelle, dust for brains on a empty prairie, a person cannot thread a rifle onto a rod that is 60cm from their skull. Robin had no such difficulty of course because he wasn't thinking about trajectory, nor was he encumbered by the need to prove how he shot himself by threading the rifle on a skull cap that had yet to be made, and which of course would have caused an explosion in the barell, he was just shooting himself in one of the easiest right dominant ways possible.
So you get the moronette's award kookybelle and hello, you won't even understand why because you are such a moronette. Good work, spot on - sent kent a cheque.

Dear Nos, I've got a question: by GNG.

Sorry about sending those bills for kent's recent psychiatric care to you. He passed them onto me saying that I'd helped drive him crazy. I spoke to a lawyer about it and his opinion was that if anyone was liable it's you Nos, because I'm working for you undercover to show that Kent Parker is a madman. So the way the lawyer figured it out was that's your fault that kentybaby is a madman.

I'm not trying to cover my bets Nos, and I know that I'll somehow end up paying for your mistakes, but could you tell me, just between you and I and 33 uninterested spectators, how come come campmother is facing 303 charges in the High Court when he all he was trying to do was be a campmother?

Sincerely yours

Your old pal (the impoverished and underpaid, spat upon, super secret agent)


Goodnewsguy

Hey Mike Stockdale, by GNG.

I'm starting to feel sorry for you. You've bored everyone to tears and no one will talk to you. Do what Nos does and talk to yourself. Make a post and ask a question, and just trick everybody by saying that you don't expect an answer. Try it, that might be worth a go. I know there's no standards at all that have be met when joining a hate-site, that just being a moron is enough, but maybe you should talk to campmother and see if you can make it a rule that not only to you have to be a moron, but that also you have to answer Mike Stockdale's stupid bloody questions. Tell campmother you'll renew your sponsorship, take a commercial point of view, spend your money wisely. Put your foot down Mike, tell campybaby that you demand that people answer your silly bloody questions, don't they know who you are? You're old mighty blighty Stockdale the most boring person in the Southern Hemisphere. Blinking hate-siters these days, they've got no manners.

But one thing that interests me since you've left the chicken coop, is why you keep asking about David's pulse rate. I've noted you've asked 500 times in 2 days. It sort of makes you look stupid Mikey. You don't want to end up with the nick name stupid Mikey that drives an Audi do ya? No, no, no. Don't hesitate Mikey, you never have done before with the facts. Make it up, take care of yourself. Make it up. People won't believe you anyway, because everyone knows you make everything up and tell people what they're thinking as well. But at least some one might notice that you're not asking the same boring bloody question. Spot on old chap, bottoms up and all that. Backs to the wall he comes campmother, turn out the light.