Police redesign restraint chair after death of prisoner Jaye Taueli from brain bleed | RNZ News

A quick read of this shows how lead footed the authorities reactions to a crisis are. My experience has been to look for a diversion to help the person out of the crisis they feel they are in. In other words, look for the safety valve and level out the talk as being person to person rather than sides, in which one has all the power.

Frankly, restraining a person in the way Jaye was restrained was a reinforcement of power, an unwillingness to get on the same wave link. It is a 'refinement' of changing a person to the wall in order that whatever is bothering him or her will depart to the pressure of being shackled and your world darkening even more, perhaps remind the person of their whole life and that this indeed was the final "solution."

Let them talk to the point they know they can trust you, that you are not against them but with them and wishing to travel in the same direction until some like Jaye is dealing with something new in life - his own identity on his terms, his right to speak about it and perhaps explain what would be better.

Explain that you are not willing to judge him, that it's not your job and that your job is to listen and maybe have an idea or 2 about the way things could go if Jaye got something near what he was asking for, as long it was better, make him feel happy and so on. What was done to Jaye was so backward, I've heard this type of plea before with too few people knowing how to listen, turn the volume down, talk, walk side by side.