Mike Stockdale - Looking for a new home, by GNG.

(Is this Mike Stockdale from Counterspin?)

Mike Stockdale is looking for a new chicken coop. He's not fitting in with the other chickens so we took a vote and he's been asked to leave. He'll probably best fit in somewhere where all the other chickens are deaf because he goes on and on and on. He's always name-dropping and telling the other chickens what they think and what everyone else in the world thinks, he thinks he God's gift to chickens, and as you can see he doesn't dress like a proper chicken because his feathers are in the wrong place. He reckons he's got a flash new audi and a car dealership and that's why he's so famous. He always telling us what TV show he's going to be on, and what movies he's starred in, but they don't sound like the sort of movies that are a family show.

Another thing he sometimes goes on and on about is the Bain case and how he is going to take over Counterspin and Justice(sic) for Robin Bain because camp mother is a drongo and hasn't been in as many movies as Mike. There's nothing Mike doesn't know, in fact he's more of an expert on everything than what nina_s concertina is. But the truth is he's bloody boring and he's a guts and he poops everywhere. The other chickens and I were hoping to give him away as free to a good home but we've realised now that we'll have to pay somebody to take him away because he even put the RSPCA inspector to sleep when he called over to consider if the RSPCA would rehome him.

We hope somebody can help out. The girls are so bored they've all stopped laying, even the rooster has fallen silent. We are a sad old chicken coop at the moment and we need a break and a bit of silence and a chance to regather our thoughts without Mike whining on and on like a noisy truck diff going up a dirt track.